like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
