kristin has been a bad kristin
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
