Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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