so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
