Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
