No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize