someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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