I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
