Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
