we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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