I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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