I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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