I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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