Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Barsexuality is the new black.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Houston, we have a blender
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
