it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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