Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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