we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
