True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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