All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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