When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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