I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
