and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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