I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i need to put some appletini on your dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
