Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
