wrigley field is MILF paradise
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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