We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
