Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
