Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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