apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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