Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
