omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
