Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
