Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
