I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
