i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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