I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
