I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
