guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
