Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
