I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bring me that man meat
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
