My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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