Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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