Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
