is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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