It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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