Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
