Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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