Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
