Cold hands, warm shart.
we have officially lost it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
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who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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