Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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