so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
