so explain again why im purple
no
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
