We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
