I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize