everyone is single if you try hard enough
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
