Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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