He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
