The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize