am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
