:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
