haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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