if you like me you must not know who I am
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i think i have two assholes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
