I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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