so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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