I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
