If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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