Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
