It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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