he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
